you & me could write a bad romance?

Well, I'm in a Carrie Bradshaw mood today, so I'm going to write about relationships. I started thinking about this after listening to "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem & Rihanna. I've never been an Eminem fan at all, because I find him disgusting, but I oddly like this song. Yes, it's violent and masochistic, but I still like it for some reason. And obviously, a lot of other people do too, because it's at the top of the charts.. but why? Are we a self-loathing society?

But I don't think we are, I think we're attracted to the extreme passion in the song. For some reason, passion=romance.. even though it's violent passion. Hopefully most of us can't relate to physical abuse, but I think that the abuse they sing about can symbolize emotional abuse, which most of us can relate to in some form. And for some reason, we're attracted to this Bad Romance. We want the kind of romance that no matter how bad things get, we still need each other and can't stay away. It's nothing new.. think Romeo and Juliet. They were forbidden to be together, but ended up dying for each other. Not the healthiest of relationships. Or what about the Notebook? We all remember when Noah said, "So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day."

That kind of thing gives us a rush, makes us believe that such a romance can exist. But the reality of things is that when a tornado meets a volcano, something's gonna go wrong. Lady Gaga wants your ugly and your disease.. or at least she thinks she does. I think that an actual disease might be manageable. But what about those that are emotionally shut-down? How do you deal with that one, Lady Gaga?

That's the opposite end of the spectrum: the passion-less. While too much passion may be explosive, the lack of is just as hurtful. The match might be perfect on paper, and you might look really good together.. but the deeper you dig, the more problems you find. Maybe he's only with her because it's easy and convenient, or maybe she just can't be alone. I think that's why our divorce rate is so high. People get married before they've ever had to go through a hard time, simply because that person was there, and seemed like a good match. But then when that time comes, they can't deal. They find out that they weren't really in love, they were in "conveniency like".

I don't know about y'all, but that's not good enough for me. I consider myself to be a somewhat passionate person.. I do what I love, and I don't hide my emotions. But even I put up a wall sometimes. I spent several weeks recently blocking out certain parts of my life, and while it did make things easier for the time being, those things never disappeared. I've still had to face them, and it honestly feels better to hurt than to feel nothing at all. I feel sorry for people who are so emotionally closed off that they can't feel. And I think that it happens more often than we realize, to people that we don't expect. That girl with the new job and house that seems to have it so together might secretly be afraid that she'll never be able to let her guard down. And she would probably trade it all for that happiness.

But at the same time, I don't want the kind of passion that Eminem sings about. Let's be honest, we don't love the way you lie. I, for one, hate being lied to. If you don't, then you should probably seek help. I want to love and need someone, but I don't want to hate them too. Or want to set them on fire. Surely there's some happy medium between burning your beau, and being bored with your beau?